Sunday, November 25, 2007

The After Math Part Two

*Actual post date: December 13th about 12:30 PM*
As many of you know, I have just finished with the most challenging semester of my whole life. I have never worked so hard or felt so inadequate at the same time...never. At first it was just 5 to 6 hours a day of studying and homework for one class, for math(for the first block)not that bad, but when I got into the second block, the average was 8 hours a day. And for the last month,(beginning the day after my concert), I was there at school studying math an average of 11.18 hours a day. For ONE class. Math. Math. Math. Math. Taught by one of the most intelligent men that I have ever been in the presence of, Professor Machiel van Frankenhuijsen. He is empirically a genius, really, like one of those people you read about in some European magazine (I was scared to death of him at first)...and he taught us all like we should be geniuses, too. My brain has never been so stretched, EVER, and that, is saying something. It actually got to the point where it felt more normal to be doing math than NOT to be doing math. If I had a minute free, I would think, "Isn't there some math I should be doing?", and most nights I literally dreamt in math... and with the end of the class being yesterday, ending with the final...I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I began to cry yesterday, seeing what the world looked like at 12:30 in the afternoon, I had in truth forgotten what things looked like at that time of day...and it scared me a little. I don't know how to navigate things anymore...or what to do with myself anymore. I walked aimlessly around the grocery store today, listening to "Rockin' around the Christmas Tree" by Peggy Lee blasting from the speakers up above and I tell you truly, I could not find the peanut butter. And I looked down every isle. Poo-poo to having it next to the bread and jam! I finally had to ask one of the store clerks where it was, she looked at me like I was an imbecile when I told her in all seriousness that I was unable to locate the peanut butter. Isle 4.
Things that I think I will do now:
*Paint my fingernails red
*Think about things
*Spend time with my Dad
*Watch Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Miracle on 34th Street
*Get a Christmas tree
*Clean my bathroom
*Walk around the mall aimlessly
*Stare at people
*Think about things
*Talk to myself
*Make the rest of my flashcards to memorize the flags of the world
*Get a peanut butter map
*Finish the "Twilight" series
*Maybe draw something
*Listen to things
*Blink more than normal

About the Gig: All of the goings on. All Photos by the amazing Abbie Warnock

This is my favorite shot of the entire concert, Abbie caught me praying, right before I went on stage for my first ever gig. I can't believe that she captured this moment.

I love this one, too.

About the concert.
It was an amazing night for was funny, I think that I have some kind of karma with mics because AGAIN they did not have my mic on, so, for the first half of "Pagliaccio" there was no sound. It sucked, I'm not gonna lie, I think that I need to have a clause, (on the suggestion of one of my friends) that the next time they do that to me, someone gets to take me to dinner.
Ah...I wish I could tell everything...every moment. We didn't sell out the theatre, like I had hoped and worked so hard for, but, it was my first gig, what could I expect? I was glad that we sold as many tickets as we did. One thing that could not have gone better was how my voice lasted through the whole gig. It didn't falter once, I was SO grateful. It was a miracle, really, because I had been VERY sick for about a month...and that night something happened, something changed and got better. Thank you, Heavenly Father. "O Mio Babbino Caro" was especially a surprise for me in how well it went. I have not sung full-out opera that amazingly in months. Really. I am sure that the crowd saw the visible shock in my face! HA-HA-HA!!! I was VERY happy with "Pieta", they had Vincent van Gogh's "The Starry Night" in the background and it was very powerful, very powerful. "Both Sides Now" was awesome, Kath said that she felt that the audience was not breathing during that one. Those two songs were like a dream. The costume change took WAY too long and I felt so bad that everyone had to wait as long as they did for the intermission. Ig. Sorry everyone. I will have to figure out how to get that to work for tour.... .
I loved the Jazz set, it was wonderful to finally premier my song "Never The Lovers", I first started writing it in 1998, so, it was good to finally see it's completion.
I was very glad about the Christmas set. It was wonderful to play with my sister, Kathryn, on stage for the first time, we did a song called "Le Stelle Nel Cielo" a GORGEOUS Italian lulluby from a teeny little town where she served her mission, in Italy. Singing "O Holy Night" in the original French was one of the highlights of the entire was a beautiful human experience for me.
The Mayor came, Mayor Billings, and he gave us two dozen red roses each(Jennie and Me). He was the one who started this all, I am so grateful to him.
One thing that really has stood out to me, and makes me very happy is that, I really had fun doing REALLY had fun. It was not the usual dread and fear and anxiety that usually plagues me every time I perform. It was amazing for me to experience it being fun, enjoyable even...yeah... .

Here is the set list:

O Mio Babbino Caro/Let it Be
Both Sides Now
He's The Wiz

The Other Hours
Never The Lovers
A Boy Named Charlie Brown
And We Dance

Jesus Christ The Apple Tree/O Come Emmanuel (In Latin)
Le Stelle Nel Cielo with my sister, Kathryn (In Italian)
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
O Holy Night (In French)
Silent Night (In German)

Saturday, November 24, 2007


AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I'm on a POSTER!!!! Here is Jennie, too, she is so amazing.

My "big" entrance though the back of the crowd, it was cool.

My Mom got this shot, it is my favorite of the whole show.

Here I am with Jennie and my sister, Kathryn, on stage performing the Italian lullaby, "Le Stelle Nell Cielo." It was epic.

There was a full moon that night, how cool is that?

Clown Costume by TIFFANY&Co.

Actually, the gifted costume maker is from England and her name is Venessa Graham. She does the costumes for the BYU touring ballroom team.
She is the one responsible for this sparkling amazingness.

Thursday, November 1, 2007


I have a confession. I've failed at making chocolate chip cookies since I was 8 years old. But, I have since repented. Vivian gave me a set of measuring cups for my birthday this year from Williams and Sonoma, and they have given me courage to do things or try things that I had given up on years ago. Ahhhh...

Here they the little cookies. I wanted to make sure that they were baked to perfection. They were not gross. And a wound has been healed. :)